Boundaries

Boundary Rituals: Honoring the Sacred No

For years, I was the poster child for “Yes, I will. ”Yes to extra tasks. "Yes to last-minute favors. "Yes to anything so I could be liked, even when it cost me peace.

I said yes because I feared disappointing others. I craved approval. But beneath every yes was a quiet erosion of self.

Now, with a healthier mindset and a reclaimed sense of worth, I treat boundaries as sacred spaces. They are no longer walls—they are altars. I’ve learned to prioritize my needs by:

• Making time for creativity

• Declining invitations that don’t align

• Pausing before responding, so I can choose with intention

At first, it felt uncomfortable—like I was letting people down. It seemed selfish. But it was also deeply freeing. I began to enjoy my own company: just me, myself, and I.

In those quiet moments, I found myself drifting off and taking mid day naps. And with each nap came a reckoning. The old voice whispered, Don’t be lazy. Get up. It’s the middle of the day. But I chose a new voice: You deserve this rest. Your body is calling. Honor it. Be thankful.

This is the ritual of boundaries—not just saying no, but saying yes to yourself. I quickly realized in order to dismantle this agreement I needed to start over.

As a deep self reflection I knew my people pleasing started as a child in my own family wanting to be noticed and loved by my parents. After a sacred time with my heart and soul I took the initiative to reparent my inner child.

 Reparenting the Self: My New Daily Devotion

I began speaking to the younger versions of myself.

To the girl who learned to perform to feel worthy. To the little one who used her voice to soothe others, even when she couldn’t soothe herself. To the dark skinned teenager who was told she wasn’t beautiful, so she became helpful instead. To the woman who abandoned her softness, cloaking herself in masculinity to avoid being abandoned in marriage again.

I told her:

Sweet girl, you are allowed to say no. You are allowed to be strong—for yourself, not for survival but for self-love. You are allowed to rest for that deep healing, that creates a soul that glows from the inside out. You are allowed to receive. Say thank you, and walk away. You are allowed to rewrite your story. My new story starts now.

This inner dialogue has become my daily devotion. A sacred practice of reparenting—of offering myself the love, protection, and permission I once needed then, but never received. Each time I speak to her, I soften. I reclaim. I rise.

Narrative Reframing (tapping into my Kee Kee Palmer- the greatest reframer)

I am rewriting my story—not to deny the past, but to reclaim its power. I shifted my lens from survival to sovereignty. From being shaped by others to shaping myself. My blog, my garden, my land, my renovations, my rituals, they have all become expressions of this new narrative.

“I’m beginning to know and understand that resilience isn’t about pushing through, but about softening into my truth. I’ve been hard for far too long” I 'm beginning to see the softer me.