• Creating Space for Authentic Self-Talk

We all talk to ourselves, Right?

My thoughts are not just in passing subtle flights, some are whispers trying to announce something or remind me, but even though they seem quiet, for me the constant hum beneath my breathe caused me many restless nights and interrupted decisions . You know that voice narrating our worth, our choices, our fears—is either building us up or quietly breaking us down. The growth is leaning into what is new and rewarding, while fighting what is familiar has been exhausting and rewarding all at the same time.

For years, my inner voice was a master of disguise. It wore the tone of discipline, the mask of motivation, the cloak of humility. But underneath, It was fear. It was shame. It was inherited beliefs dressed up as truth. As I read and research my self reflections I now know these are all agreements placed on me or entered into by me as I allowed my shaping to be by the worlds rules and regulations or people I felt the need to please.

The most powerful shift in my healing journey began as I sat with me with intention relentless waiting for my breakthrough moment. It came from the deep question I asked myself—again and again:

“Where did that message come from?”

When I heard outside voices say Are you really qualified, my translation was “I must not be doing enough, "so I worked harder.

When I felt the sting of my adult children say “Mom You’re too much, you always take things a little to far,” I leaned in and physically did more for them. Oh how I still wanted to be number one in their lives.

When I heard Family members say “You were built for this “I pushed even harder to do the task.

What I do Know is

I am so exhausted from the outside noise. I made my Self-reflection my new compass. I stopped letting my thoughts run wild like unsupervised children. I began parenting them—with grace, curiosity, and fierce love.

Here’s what I learned:

- Not every thought is yours. Some were planted by culture, family, trauma, or survival.

- Belief isn’t proof. Just because you’ve believed something for years doesn’t mean it’s true.

- Your inner voice can be retrained. It takes intention, repetition, and compassion to transform.

So I started rewriting my agreements in life

I replaced “I’m failing” with *“I’m learning.”

I replaced “I’m falling behind” with “I’m on my own timeline.”

I replaced “I’m not enough” with *“I am whole, even in progress.”

Even as I am writing this I am thinking who is this person. These thoughts and words are so new. So for fun I say to myself. "let me introduce you to the new thought pattern of your mind". "Remember you are rewriting your intentions with a healed heart and soul".

And slowly, my mind is becoming a safer place to live.

This chapter is your invitation for you to do the same. To listen in. To question the noise. To choose words that heal instead of harm.

Because the way you speak to yourself isn’t just a habit—it’s a ritual. And rituals shape reality.

Let's work together on Self Talk

🌿 Inner Gardening: A Metaphor for Self-Talk

Let's Imagine our minds as a garden.

Every thought is a seed. Every belief is a root system. Every word you speak to yourself is either nourishing the soil… or poisoning it.

Some seeds were planted long ago—by parents, teachers, society, or survival. You didn’t choose them, but they’ve grown wild. Some have bloomed into beauty. Others have tangled around your growth, choking possibility.

Authentic self-talk is the act of becoming your own gardener.

You pull the weeds of Shame you prune the branches of fear. You water the soil with grace planting new truths—ones that honor your growth as you are Becoming.

And over time, your inner landscape transforms. Not overnight. But with intention, ritual, and care.

I must admit I have been looking for the overnight quick fix because, the slow intention burns like walking your first 5000 steps after doing nothing for the last 5 years. Did I say that out loud. See my thoughts have just landed on the page. I have to smile.

Use These Self-Reflection Prompts:

I Invite you to journal or meditate on these:

1. What are three recurring thoughts you hear in my mind?(Write them down without judgment.)

2. Where did each message come from?(Was it inherited, learned, or born from experience?)

3. Is this thought true? Is it kind? Is it useful?(If not, what would I rather believe?)

4. What new mantra feels like medicine for you right now?(Examples: “I am allowed to grow.” “My worth is not up for debate.” “I am safe to expand.”)

5. What would my inner voice sound like if it were my future self?(Let that new voice speak for a moment.)

   
   

Take you time and give yourself grace. Let connect again next.