In The Beginning

Let’s take a step back to the pivotal year of 2020—a year that redefined so much for so many. At the time, I was working in Early Education, immersed in the rhythms of teaching and coaching new staff, freshly hired as Executive Director in October of 2019. So, in March on a Wednesday afternoon, everything shifted. We were told to go home—to stay there indefinitely—because of this new cold/flu called COVID-19. My staff and I were so confused but what we did know this virus was changing life as we knew it. That night we learned virus was claiming lives, and with it, the certainty of everyday existence. We were tasked with relearning how to be safe, how to occupy spaces together without causing harm. And just like that, my world turned upside down.

The year 2020 was a turning point—a time when the world collectively paused, challenging each of us to reflect on who we were and how we would navigate the unfamiliar terrain of a reshaped reality. For me, it wasn’t just reflection—it was urgency. A moment of profound concern that jolted me out of my office chair and into action. The families who trusted me and my staff to care for their children needed answers. My employees, already balancing on unsteady footing within a fractured system of education, needed guidance. My own family needed reassurance as the news broke: the world was shutting down.

As the phone began to ring, wave after wave of questions poured in—questions I didn’t yet have answers to. How do I keep my employees working? How do we transform our space into one that prioritizes safety without losing connection? How do I ensure parents that they can continue to support their livelihoods knowing their children are cared for and protected, not exposed to the invisible threat of COVID-19?

I went to work. Knowing I had just been named an Essential worker. Not sitting still long enough to realize that meant used all you know to keep your industry working even if you have to use wet duck tape, Let's Go!!!!!!!!

Fueled by a deep desire to create something new—not just for myself, but for everyone who counted on me, and slightly not even aware of my people pleasing behavior—I began building a new ship. Not a makeshift solution, but something that felt transformative and sustainable. In the face of overwhelming uncertainty, my resolve grew stronger. I knew this wasn’t just about surviving the moment. It was about carving out a path forward, guided by purpose, adaptability, and the belief that we could all rise together.

Suddenly, the titles, roles, and routines I thought defined me seemed hollow. I wasn’t just grappling with global uncertainty—I was wrestling with my own self. That desire to be new, to redefine me, burned brighter than ever. Little did I know, the flame that was burning a little brighter came from the start of my own personal awaking. As I think back that was the first small breath of asking we are you. The journey ahead would be one of profound transformation—not just surviving the chaos but thriving in the discovery of my truest self.

2020 was the start of my journey, being tossed by the force of COVID trauma I quickly realized as fast as I was figuring out a new way to engage in Early Education I was being dismembered in the process. I became Unrecognizable for the next 2 years, as I entered 2022, I knew my Mind Body and Soul could not endure much more. I began talking to my husband in a new soft voice about retirement and gently saying how tired I had become.  He heard me but, his logical mind said you will be okay, things seemed to be getting back to normal now. It felt like he pushed me back in the boxing ring of life as he stood on the sideline cheering. Did he not see I was bleeding, limping, and could barely speak.

I know that sounds crazy the man of dreams to suddenly not be on my side, but that Shit happened. I looked at myself and said hang in there, remember people are depending on you. So I ran back in the fire, but this time it was different because I was exposing more of my heart and soul. The trauma of working through Covid had left me more vulnerable than ever. In the back of my mind and deep in my soul I kept asking myself how much more can I take. Boom! In June of 2022 my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney disease. It rocked our world. I became hypervigilant on what foods we were consuming, how much water he was intaking, what medicines he needed to cut back on and how we could tap into Mother Earth for deep healing. So all though this new information was hurtful, I found a second wind. Then I heard that sound again Boom!!!! my father, already having COPD is stroke by Covid 19 by October of 2023 he was in Hospice. At this point I was like Jesus take the Wheel. and then I was knighted by all my other siblings, that I was the adult child who would care for our aging parents and even the one is dying.

Have you ever watched a cartoon, and the main character is being chased by the angry animal and no matter how fast the character is running the animal is nipping his or her pants. Okay at that point I am the character and life is the animal.  Yikes!!!!!!!!!

Working through a long hard Fall and Winter, realizing people were beginning to see me limping I stopped.

June of 2024 I gave my notice to retire and walked out of the chaos of the world, unknowing that the trauma had overtaken parts of me that remained so shattered. I ran quickly into sleepless nights, anxiety, physical pain in my back and feet like I had never felt in my life. So needless to say, this Journey I am sharing with you saved my life. I now want to help you and many others heal and to be whole. Because life doesn't stop but we can learn to stand above the storm and not be tossed around by it.

So take a deep cleansing breathe and listen to this song.   

https://youtu.be/ky5_kBJws7I?si=CUhOEKkrtNw4CQwp